i am still alive…

Ek is terug en het besluit ek moet ma weer begin blog…it keeps me sane…ek het so baie om te skryf en baie wat gebeur het in die laaste jaar of wat….its so good to be back…is almal nog hier….

who says…

I wouldn’t wanna be anybody else.
Hey!
You made me insecure,
Told me I wasn’t good enough.
But who are you to judge
When you’re a diamond in the rough.
I’m sure you got some things
You’d like to change about yourself.
But when it comes to me,
I wouldn’t wanna be anybody else.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
I’m no beauty queen.
I’m not just beautiful me

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

You’ve got every right
To a beautiful life.
C’mon on!

Who says?
Who says you’re not perfect?
Who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting?
Trust me,
That’s the price of beauty.
Who says you’re not pretty?
Who says you’re not beautiful?
Who says?

It’s such a funny thing
How nothing’s funny when it’s you.
You tell ’em what you mean,
But they keep whiting out the truth.
It’s like a work of art
That never gets to see the light.
Keep you beneath the stars,
Won’t let you touch the sky.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/selena_gomez/who_says.html ]
I’m no beauty queen.
I’m just beautiful me.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

You’ve got every right
To a beautiful life.
C’mon on!

Who says?
Who says you’re not perfect?
Who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting?
Trust me,
That’s the price of beauty.
Who says you’re not pretty?
Who says you’re not beautiful?
Who says?

Who says you’re not star potential?
Who says you’re not presidential?
Who says you can’t be in movies?
Listen to me, listen to me.
Who says you don’t pass the test?
Who says you can’t be the best?
Who said?
Who said?
Won’t you tell me who said that?
Yeah, oh
Who said?

Who says?
Who says you’re not perfect?
Who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting?
Trust me,
That’s the price of beauty.
Who says you’re not pretty?
Who says you’re not beautiful?
Who says?

Who says?
Who says you’re not perfect?
Who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting?
Trust me,
That’s the price of beauty.
Who says you’re not pretty?
Who says your not beautiful?
Who says?

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dae soos vandag

Dis dae soos vandag wat ek weet hoekom ek my ex so haat – en although ek weet haat is n baie kras woord – kan ek nie help om die gevoel te voel nie – I mean come on wie sit en grens vir drie ure lank agter n toe kantoor deur net so sonder rede…..en om die waarheid te sê ek kan nie eens sê dat iets dit getrigger het nie – ek huil net die trane het net begin loop non-stop begin loop tot al my mascara op my wange gelê het en my oe bloedrooi was met swart eyeliner merke om…..meer gelyk of ek reg is om te gaan fight in Vietnam…..ek het geen rede om te grens nie dis al 3jaar maar soms dan steek die gevoel kop uit waaneer ek dit die minste verwag en some people will say ma dis dan al so lank terug…..well guess die seer gaan sit net baie baie diep waar dit onbereikbaar is,maar weggaan sal dit nooit nie……waaneer gaan ek toegelaat word om my hart uit hierdie unbreakable hok uit te haal…..dis iets wat ek myself moet toelaat om te doen maar ek kom nie sover om dit te doen nie…..dis baie werk om n hart wat in tien miljoen stukkies gebreek was weer aanmekaar te las met gom en pleister – net om te weet iemand mag dit dalk weer shatter……maar ek wil dit uit hê……

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observation….

Ek sit nou die oggend by die werk en wag vir die volgende pasient omin te kom – nie lank nie hier kom n middeljare dame in…..baie vriendelik en aangenaam….sy sit heel rustig en wag haar beurt af om vir doker te sien….ek is in en uit met die tools vir dokter en maak nog notas ook in tussen…..
Sy is volgende en ek wys vir haar die stoel waar sy moet sit terwyl dokter al sy dinge regkry…..ek gaan sit skyns oorkant haar op my gewone ou plekkie pen reg in die hand om notas te neem…… My oog vang toe die dame op n heel ander manier as wat ek gewoonlik na die pasiente kyk…..Ek blaai toe vinnig terug in haar leer om by haar detail sheet uit te kom….jip en daar staan dit by haar marital status DIVORCED…….
Ek kyk toe weer op en na n ander manier na haar…..half dieper en sien toe wat ek gedink ek het….sy is agter daai vriendelik masker van haar so afgemaak, so so so sad , die lewe het haar verniel – miskien het sy n moeilike huwelik gehad – miskien was haar kinders moeilik….. haar voorkoms se sy gee nie regtig om nie – sy is verby die deel waar sy moet lewe sy is net nog hier…..
Haarkies is vuil en in n losbandige manier vasgeknip…..haar oe is moeg en die swartvlekke onder dit lyk meer na eyeshadow op die verkeerde plek aangewend….haar klere is oud en wil lyk of hulle 200 keer gewas is – diere hare van kop tot tone…..
Hulle se n mens mag nie judge nie …… en voor die ou woordjie EENVOUDIG in my klein brein wou oppop toe dink …..
Maybe was sy n elegante vrou op haar dae….n vrou van imborste en status n mooi vrou……maar nie meer nie….sy is verniel….
Deur wie……
N mislukte huwelik
N gemors van n man
Die lewe
Haar kinders
Of dalk verkies sy om so te lyk en wees……
Haar voorkoms se eks vuil moenie nader kom nie……
Vir oomblik daar het ek met al die gedagtes kennis gemaak…..
En toe is sy weg en ek het nie haar notas gemaak nie…..

weird amusing scene

? I have a new obsession and I think it is affecting my brain…….. ? Yesterday I was driving from Otjiwarongo to Windhoek and there was a guy walking next to the road….. He was hitch-hiking and for a split second, I was thinking of picking him up…..but then this very strangely-amusing scene played of in my head….. ? He got in the car – thanking me so ever kindly for the ride….as we were talking I saw him staring at me in a strange way from the corner of my eye…and then it happened……… ? He made me pull over the car under some sort of compulsion….. ? We got out of the car and he came so close to my face I could feels his breathing against my face…….. ? His eyes turned weird……he was stroking my neck as he came closer to neck…….. ? A hooter sound snapped me back to reality…….. ? I should really stop watching Vampire Diaries……it is just so damn addictive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

madhouse

Its been crazzzzzzzyyyy dis side ek moet seriously n uodate doen.
In the meanwhile I got my new blackberry die wat sou belangstel om my te bbm 23539499 is my pin.hoor graag van julle.mwah!

You’re so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil? Could you be an angel?
Your touch magnetizing
Feels like I am floating, leaves my body glowing

They say be afraid
You’re not like the others, futuristic lover
Different DNA
They don’t understand you

You’re from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I’m ready to go, lead me into the light

Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison

Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction

Boy, you’re an alien
Your touch so foreign
It’s supernatural
Extraterrestrial

You’re so supersonic
Wanna feel your powers, stun me with your lasers
Your kiss is cosmic
Every move is magic

You’re from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I’m ready to go, lead me into the light

Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison

Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction

Boy, you’re an alien
Your touch so foreign
It’s supernatural
Extraterrestrial

This is transcendental
On another level
Boy, you’re my lucky star

I wanna walk on your wavelength
And be there when you vibrate
For you I’ll risk it all

Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison

Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction

Boy, you’re an alien
Your touch so foreign
It’s supernatural
Extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial

Boy, you’re an alien
Your touch so foreign
It’s supernatural
Extraterrestrial

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